Tittle:Oh, by the way...........
Author: Calissa Field
Summary: The agents have a bad day. Exactly how bad can it get?
Rating: PG-13 for some language that i wouldn't use around my little 
sister. it's less than an NC-17. (I'm underage.)
thanxs: Thanxs to Lily G. for beta reading and posting to our webpage. 

feedback: pleeezzee? david_duchovny_2004@mailcity.com (Me)  or ddga4ever@mailcity.com (Lily)
disclaimer:yadda yadda yadda, CC&co. yadda, yadda, yadda 
archive info. Anywherez, just keep my name attached and in one piece. 
Oh and let me know where it's going.
author notes: In this story Emily never died. Fox and Dana are a 
couple, and are Emily's biological parents.
spoilers: Anything that has Emily in it. (I dunno how many there are.)
visit our webpage........... cantaining many other fanfics written 
by both Lily and I.
https://members.tripod.com/fanfictionhehe/index.htm

******************************************************************************************
Oh, by the way.............
by Calissa Field

.
(Scully) Skinner's asking for us.
(Mulder) I know. Any idea what it's about?
(Scully) Whatever it is, it's your fault.
(Mulder) Yeah, and you actually have a life other than the FBI. 
<Bad choice of words Mulder.> <She's gonna bite your head off now.>
(Scully) Maybe I do Mulder, maybe I do. <Yeah, and monkeys are gonna fly outta my ass any minute.>
************************************************************************************************
A.D Skinner's office
0900 hours (9Am for all of you that can't figure it out)

(Secretary) A.D. Skinner, Agents Mulder and Scully to see you.
(Skinner) Send them in.
***********************************************************************************
0902 (9:02 AM)
(Skinner) Have a seat.  
(Mulder) <That's not a good sign.>
(Skinner) I just reviewed your field expense report for the Last 
case. You have a few things to explain.
(Scully) <This is all Mulder's fault.> < I knew that I should have 
got a seperate room.> < He knows the rules.> 
 <Hell, Dana, It's just as much your fault as it is his.> 
(Skinner) Okay, you know that the bearu strongly dissapproves of 
partner relationships, but you chose to ignore that and proceed
with a relationship. 
(Mulder) <Oh no, here comes the "partners relationship speech">
(Scully) <Hail Mary full of grace, the lord is with thee.........>
(Skinner) But sharing a room while on assignment is against the 
rules and regs. BOTH OF YOUR JOBS ARE ON THE LINE HERE,
NOT TO MENTION MY ASS BECAUSE I'M YOUR DIRECT SUPERIOR! I'll see 
what I can do to make this go lightly. 
(Mulder and Scully) Thank you sir.
(Skinner) Okay let's see........... re-embersement for a cell phone. Agent Mulder?
(Mulder) I ran over it.
(Scully) <Good God Mulder. Lie to him damn it!>
(Skinner) I see. $350 for a meal? That is unacceptable.
(Mulder) It was our seven year anniversary of becoming partners. 
(Skinner) I DON'T CARE MULDER! IT'S UNACCEPTABLE! That's it. Section 
Chief Blevins will talk to you later this afternoon.
****************************************************************************************************
X-files office
1000 hours (10 Am)

(Scully) He was all over your ass Mulder. 
(Mulder) No shit Shirlock. Blevins is gonna be all over us. We'll be lucky to have our jobs.
(Scully) Exactly what did you put onto the expense account?
(Mulder) Everything. 
(Scully) Everything?
(Mulder) Yup.
(Scully) the expensive dinner?
(Mulder) Yup.
(Scully) The flowers?
(Mulder) Yup.
(Scully) The condoms?
(Mulder) I'm not that stupid.
(Scully) You did didn't you?
(Mulder) *weakly* Yes.
(Scully) YOU DUMBASS! WHY DIDN'T YOU THINK ABOUT HOW THAT'S GOING TO AFFECT OUR CAREER???? 
GOD YOU ARE STUPID!
(phone rings)
(Mulder) Yes?
(Krychek) Everything alright down there Mulder? Scully sounds pretty pissed off.
(Mulder) Everything's fine Krychek. Mind your own business okay?
(Krychek) Turn your intercom off then.
(Mulder) Damn it!
(slams the phone down)
(Mulder) Tell me you didn't?
(Scully) Didn't what?
(Mulder) DON'T PLAY STUPID WITH ME SCULLY! YOU TURNED THE INTERCOM ON DIDN'T YOU?
(Scully) No I didn't.
(Mulder) Sure. Fine.What...................
(Scully pushes Mulder into the filing cabinet and gives him a hot 
and heavy kiss. Before Mulder has time to respond, she breaks it.)
(Mulder) I knew that there was a reason that I loved you.
(Scully) Shutup smartalec.
(Mulder) Yes ma'm.
***************************************************************************************************
Section Cheif Blevin's Office
1350 (1:50 PM)
(Blevins) ............... this matter will not be taken lightly. 
Councel will decide upon punishment at a later date. Until then, i have no
choice but to put you on suspension without pay. I expect that you 
will clear out your office today and will not return to the building 
without official permission to do so.
(Mulder and Scully) Yes sir.
(Blevins) That is all.
**************************************************************************************************************
Dana and Fox's apartment
2045 (8:45 PM)
(Scully) I can't believe that he fired us!
(Mulder) We fucked each other while we were on a case Dana. Think about it.
(Emily) Mommy, what is "fuck''?
(Scully) That's a naughty word honey. Don't say that okay?
(Emily) Okay mommy. Why'd daddy say it?
(Mulder) I'm sorry Ems. I didn't mean to say it.
(Emily) It's okay daddy.
(Scully) But if you would have thought twice before you put that 
on the expense report.....................
(Emily) Tired mommy.
(Scully) In a minute honey okay?
(Emily) Okay.
(Mulder) I was joking with you Dana! I didn't put it on there! I'm NOT THAT DAMN STUPID!
(Scully) Fox, not in front of Ems. Please?
(Mulder) Okay. 
**************************************************************************************************************
Emily's room
2055 (8:55 PM)
(Scully) Isn't she beautiful?
(Mulder) She looks just like her mommy.
************************************************************************************************************* living room
2100 (9 PM)

(Scully) So how did they find out about us sharing the room then?
(Mulder) I dunno. I swear that I put two rooms on the expense account.
(Scully) Did you save a copy?
(Mulder) Not exactly.
(Scully) What do you mean "Not exactly"?!
(Mulder) I saved it to the computer at work.
(Scully) That was really smart.
(Mulder) I know.
(Scully) So how do we get in?
(Mulder) Well, we could hack, or we can always sneak into the building.
(Scully) Hack.
**************************************************************************************************************
Dana and fox's bedroom
0100 hours (1 AM)

(Scully) How's it coming?
(Mulder) It's okay. Would you be a dear and make some coffee?
(Scully) Sure thing sweetie.
Five minutes later.................
(Mulder) Damn it!
(Scully) What, what?
(Mulder) They traced us. The computer's frozen.
(Scully) Turn it off.
(Mulder) I can't.
(Scully) Why?
(Mulder) It totally melted the hard drive.
(Scully) Shit!
(Mulder runs over and unplugs the computer)
(Scully) So, how long until we have them at our door?
(Mulder) Tomorrow morning.
(Scully) Smooth move.
(Mulder) Well, we got caught, but who says that the gunmen will?
**************************************************************************************************************
0115 hours (1:15 Am)

(Frohike) *sleepily* Lone gunmen.
(Mulder) It's me. Turn the recorder off.
(frohike) What do ya want Mulder?
(Mulder) We need to get a file from the computer in our office.
(frohike) Yeah, so, get it in the morning.
(Mulder) We got suspended because little Mulder wanted to play while we were on a case.
(Frohike) I see. Well, what can we do to help?
(Mulder) Can you get in and get it for us?
(Frohike) Sure thing buddy.
(Mulder) Okay we need file "x-418765421 A" it's a expense account, file x-418765421 B and C
(Frohike) Okay. we'll get right on it.
(Mulder) Thanxs. 
************************************************************************************************************** living room
0145 (1:45 Am)

(Mulder and Scully are having sex on the couch)
(Phone rings)
(Scully) Let the machine get it.
(Mulder) It might be Frohike.
(Scully) Fine.
(Mulder) *panting* hell..........hello?
(Frohike) You sound like you've ran a ten-K race. Are you okay?
(Mulder) Yeah. What'd ya find?
(Frohike) We couldn't get in.
(Mulder) Okay. Why? 
(Scully)What???
(Mulder) They didn't get in.
(Scully) Damn it.
(Frohike) Something's wrong with our scrambler. It totally froze it.
(Mulder) I see. Well, thanxs for trying.
(Frohike) No problem.
**************************************************************************************************************
Four and 1/2 months later
FBI headquarters


(Skinner) I regret to inform you that the council decided that you 
were to hand in your badges and weapons and resign fromthe FBI.
(Mulder) <Damn it.>
(Skinner) I'm sorry agents. It's over. 
**************************************************************************************************************
The next day
New Years Eve 1999
9:45 Pm
Bill Scully Jr's house


(Bill) Dana, can I see you alone for a minute?
(Dana) Sure. Be right back honey.
(Fox) Don't take too long.
(Dana) I won't.
**************************************************************************************************************
Bill's patio

(Bill) How's he treating you?
(Dana) Who? Fox? He's fantastic.
(Bill) Mom said something about you needing a new couch?
(Dana) Um, yeah, we do.
(Bill) Why?
(Dana) Well................. 
(Bill) What? I want the full story Dana.
(Dana) Well, I guess Fox and I were working on a case..............
(Bill) Wait. Fox?
(Dana) Mulder. Whatever.
(Bill) And???
(Dana) And we got a little too lovey-dovey. It broke in half.
(Bill) It. Broke. In. Half?
(Dana) That's what I said.
(Bill) Mulder! Get your ass in here!
(Fox) Huh? What???
(Bill) Say your prayers. You're a dead man!
(Fox) What'd I do?
(Bill) You did the "wild thing" with my sister. My father would never approve of you.
(Fox) Yeah so? At least I keep her satisfied. Maybe if you gave 
Tara twice as much as you do now...............
(Bill) Shut up.
(Maggie) Boys, boys................ what's the problem?
(Bill) He's fucking my sister 24/7. that's the damn problem.
(Maggie) William Scully JR, apologize this instant!
(Bill) I'm sorry. *mutters* Fucking Asshole.
(Dana) Oh, by the way Bill, i'm pregnant.

The End

Should I continue it or handover my computer and live a life of 
a monk? 

david_duchovny_2004@mailcity.com